i’m weird ok
but when i say i’m weird i don’t mean like your cute and quirky girlfriend
i mean fucking weird
(Source: dickflavouredsoup, via funnymoneyretro)
i know im ugly but can some guy just take one for the team and love me
(Source: sexcake, via funnymoneyretro)
im Sorry but you two cant get the marriage. the bible said Adam and Eve not matthew and ashley. come back when youve legally changed your names
(via myarmsareridiculous)
if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that george bush was once informed that 4 brazilian people were killed in iraq and he responded ‘how many is a brazilian’
(via zackisontumblr)
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:
i never realize how much i swear until i’m in a situation where i can’t
just finished watching this episode omg it’s a sign
(Source: frustgaytion, via funnymoneyretro)
what i’m looking for in a man:
- will lend me his hoodies
- good sense of humor
- is a cutie patootie
- will slay my enemies in a brutal display of violence and paint his face with their blood
- good taste in music
(via idonthavethetemperament)
the CEO of abercrombie didn’t really do a good job at marketing to cool kids because i don’t really like their stuff
(via funnymoneyretro)
